This was supposed to be an angry story. A rant, even. I nailed down two or three drafts of this story late last year, but none of it really stuck at the time. So it sat there and lingered and, as time passed, so did my righteous indignation about the modern gravel bike. It was a particular bike that irked me – the Niner Magic Carpet. A full suspension gravel bike, complete with road geometry and travel from the 1990s. Now don’t get me wrong, I still believe that the designer of that bike should have their thumbs lopped off to prevent future crimes against bicycling, but today that has more to do with me finding that sentence amusing than any kind of real anger. After all, if it gets people out and enjoying riding, why the f*ck should I care?

As part of that story I had an idea. A theory I wanted to test. You see, I think the modern gravel bike has a fatal flaw, a weakness that nobody is talking about in public. Quite simply, they suck going downhill. Nobody mentions this in their media campaigns or carefully curated Instagram feeds, but they hurt. On the fireroad behind my house a 38mm tyre does little to dampen the sensation that your eyeballs are being methodically shaken from your skull. And, for me, that undoes any of the good things about gravel bikes (and I think there are quite a few). I have Views on bicycles. Strong ones. I believe that when we get down to nut-cutting time, there is no point in any bicycle, whether on asphalt, gravel or dirt, that isn’t fun on the way downhill.

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