“28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37. 38.” Among the many lines of text Mission Workshop writes about the Traverse short on their website, that set of sequential whole numbers is by far the most compelling. “Tailored for movement?” Ugh. “Never slick when wet, always dry for the next ride?” Gag me with a spoon. But those digits gave me goosebumps. They are the sizes you can get the Traverse short in. I happen to be a 33. I have been a 33 since soon after I reached puberty and, with any luck, I will die a 33. There are a few boutique brands of denim and aggressively tapered khakis that are available in a 33, so I’m handled when out in public. But cycling shorts? Not so much. They’re all even, Steven. Or worse yet, they’re sized XS through XL. Come on, mountain bike apparel industry! That’s how you size a milkshake. The fact that the Mission Workshop Traverse shorts come in eleven (eleven!) sizes should be enough to explain why these bottoms are my bottom bitch. It bears mentioning that, by Mission Workshop’s own admission, these shorts run a little small, so mine are a 34. But my point still stands. More is better.
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