I’m a total sucker for high-tech products and electronic gadgets. During a recent ride, I counted the number of battery-operated devices with me, and it was 11. Eleven! I had an Apple Watch, an iPhone, a Garmin computer, Bluetooth earbuds, two SRAM AXS controllers, a wireless dropper, wireless derailleur, 2 two TyreWiz Bluetooth tire-pressure gauges and a headlight. So much for getting off the grid—I was the grid. I had enough lithium ion energy to power New York City for a week.

I love hydraulic brakes, suspension, carbon fiber, electronic shifting and e-bikes. I can’t stand singlespeeds, think cable-actuated disc brakes are the dumbest things on earth and wouldn’t be caught dead with an aluminum handlebar on my bike. The reacher hook thing I made to grab wheels and forks and stuff out of the rafters of my shop is made out of titanium, for god’s sake.

I’m the perfect candidate for something like Fox Live, a system that uses accelerometers to automatically adjust the fork and shock between open and firm modes up to 1,000 times per second with a reaction time of just 3 milliseconds. I’m basically predisposed to fall madly in love with the stuff. Except, I didn’t, not really anyway.

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